Local Dad’s Electricity Usage Regime More Cruel Than Any Prison


LOCAL WATERFORD father Chris Delaney is receiving considerable backlash from his family after instituting his new strict patrolling of all household appliances and heating systems, WWN can reveal.

“I’ve heard of kinder SS murder squads,” shared Delaney’s wife, Sandra, who received an official warning after filling the kettle to the half way point despite only making a single cup of tea for herself.

Arriving at the conclusion that Delaney is not so secretly loving the lingering threat of a massive energy bill, his family live under a severe regime which places ‘wasting electricity’ above genocide in a list of crimes.

“Give me Guantanamo over this,” said one of Delaney’s teenage daughters, who had the cheek to ask to charge her phone despite the fact it still has 5% battery.

A particular source of Delaney’s ire is calls for the heating to be switched on when there’s half dozen very thin and cheap blankets in the hot press.

“You wouldn’t be able to see your own breath if you just put on every piece of clothing you own, switching the heating on would be a pointless waste, are you trying to bankrupt me?” Delaney asked his son, who was on his final warning after opening the fridge door for close to 23 seconds.

“What’s wrong with candles?” barked Delaney has he caught one of his children trying to break the locks he has fitted on every light switch.