IS THERE a story or issue that just won’t go away but you want the media, opposition politicians and public to move on from it and focus on how you’re failing on all other fronts too? Well, you’re in luck because WWN has one such guide for a government in need.
It’s simple, if you’re being browbeaten constantly over how the stench of corruption is following certain coalition members everywhere they go, here’s some simple distractions:
Pray and hope some mad-as-a-bag-of-spiders family is acting the demented spanner in court again today.
Claim responsibility for a drone attack on the Kremlin.
Draw attention to the fact zero cost rental homes are currently being built in Dublin city.
Oh look, a Sinn Féin!
Deport Donald Trump.
Learn the ‘what’s that behind your ear’ magic trick.
When asked again by an opposition TD that the Dáil be allowed question a government minister get the Taoiseach to use Dáil privilege to make out like the opposition TD is in fact Josef fucking Fritzl.
Set off every fire alarm across the country at the same time.
These distractions also work for the following issues:
Failure to pass a bill some twenty years after a law was introduced to allow inquiries into councils which could act as a deterrent against corruption.
When you hand over €1bn in payments and incentives to developers to reduce costs but house prices keep rising.
Not enacting law reforms first proposed in 2011.
Cutting 40% of Mother and Baby Home Survivors out of redress scheme.
When declaring you’ve little appetite for implementing any recommendations on abortion care in Ireland.
Whenever the next report detailing how poorly supported victims of domestic abuse are.
When you’re being fined for failing to meet carbon emission reduction targets.