Lad With Tracker Mortgage Been Way Too Smug For Way Too Long


AN ECB interest rate of 0.5% has been welcomed by thousands of homeowners across the country who never got a chance to avail of a tracker mortgage, with many stating that it’s nice to see their smug family and friends get a ‘touch of the lash’ too.

“Oh no, are your mortgage payments going up? How dreadful that must be,” said one Waterford homeowner to his tracker mortgage-holding neighbour, who is one of many that now face an average of €1,500 increase a year in mortgage payments.

“You know, it reminds me of the many, many times you said to me over the years how I ‘should have gone for a tracker mortgage’ when I was buying this house. Well, how the tables have turned. Maybe you should have gone for a 3-year fixed term like the rest of us, eh? You wouldn’t be facing a price hike now if you did. Well, you’d be facing one in a year or two, but not right now, boo fucking hoo”.

Putting aside the greater ramifications of the ECB interest rate hike and the fact that such things are usually the herald of much more dire economic strife, homeowners took time to ‘enjoy this feeling’ before the rate increases hit them too.

“We appreciate that rate hikes like this are the kind of last-gasp effort to prevent an unpreventable recession, and yes, we’re probably in for another decade of harsh austerity and misery, but Jimmy up the road is down 75 quid a month after a decade of rubbing our faces in it so please, let us have this,” insisted one Waterford family we spoke to, clinking glasses as the banks sharpened their knives.