Local Man Going To Miss Covid-19 All The Same


WITH the rollout of a Covid-19 vaccine almost imminent, local man Warren Twomey has taken stock of just what an unforgettable year 2020 has been, already growing nostalgic at the thought of saying goodbye to Covid-19.

“Ah you’d miss it all the same, this Covid stuff. Do you know how many times I’ve had to see my dose of a sister-in-law this year? Zero, zilch,” Twomey said with a warmth for 2020 few people seem to have.

“The kids? Aw Jesus, the perfect excuse wasn’t it? No I can’t get ya new runners ‘cus the disease will kill us all if we go for a shop. 2020 made life a lot easier for me,” admitted Twomey, now staring out the window with a sense of longing for the good old days of early 2020 when Covid first properly burst onto the scene.

“‘Take me back!’ says every dose when they’re posting pictures of their holliers from last year. Take me back to proper 2020 when we were all stuck inside I say, I barely spent a penny, saved a fucking fortune so I did,” added Twomey while throwing his wife’s holiday brochures for 2021 in the bin.

Twomey accepted that with seemingly infinite hardship being endured at home and abroad by some, alongside substantial loss of life and long term knock on effects of lockdowns, not everyone grows as misty eyed as he does when thinking back on Covid-19.

“That’s their own business, all I know is I’m going to miss not having to listen to how my coworkers weekends went” Twomey said, finally allowing himself to cry.