Vaccine For Being A Thick Still Decades Away


ALTHOUGH medical science has managed to eradicate smallpox, polio, measles and mumps among others, doctors have solemnly announced that the cure for common cuntishness is still many, many years away.

Idiocy, arguably the greatest threat humanity has ever faced, had by and large been kept in check following the dawn of books, until the arrival of the internet comments section in the mid-2000s; seen by many as the early days of what became known as the Pandemthick.

With needless hatred and wanton prickishness on display at record levels in 2020, experts are wondering if there’s anything to be done to curb the rise of the loudmouth idiot, or should we as a society just hold our hands out to the side and fall backwards into the great wave of the unwell.

“As we can see from instances like the one in Dublin yesterday where Pandemthicks hassled commuters on a Luas, there is no cure for being a genuine piece of garbage” sighed one infectious disease expert, who earlier this year had her 35 years of expertise questioned by a thousand people who had seen something somewhere on Facebook.

“Maybe we shouldn’t fight it any more; it’s the same with Covid-19, there’s a lot of people who think hey, maybe I’ll just get infected and it won’t be that bad, maybe I’ll even get a bit of immunity from it. What’s the point in trying to be good, when you can just be loud and get the same result?”

If you know someone currently infected with thickness at the minute, please isolate yourself from them.