Corrected Leaving Cert Grades Gives Coalition Government An ‘F’ In Politics
WHILE the Minister for Education, Norma Foley, announced some 7,200 Leaving Cert students have been affected by an error in the calculated grading system, it also emerged the coalition government should have been awarded an ‘F’ in politics.
Despite instances of copying answers, attempting resitting of tests and countless oral and aural exams, the coalition will also be awarded honorary ‘Z’ grades in ‘Administration’ and ‘Project Management’ following a reassessment of some of their course work since they took office earlier this year.
“Some nerdy prick with glasses messing on a computer forgot to carry the one,” Minister Foley said, in an effort to explain yesterday’s revelations.
Recently instructed to find student accommodation near their new educational institutions only to be informed at the last minute that all lessons would go online, and now greeted with news that they might now have the points for their first preference course elsewhere, the PTSD that Leaving Cert students of 2020 were suffering from has now developed its own PTSD.
“This shitstorm could see upwards of 1,000 students having to delay starting a course for another year. Their stress levels are higher than Snoop Dogg in that God awful Just Eat ad,” explained one education expert, while pointing the finger squarely at the Dept. of Education.
“Giving €160,000 to contractor Polymetrika for work initially estimated at €70,000? Sorry, but that’s O8 grade in Business Studies, Accounting and Maths stuff,” added the expert.
“Oh, you found two errors in the grading system? Well, we found a truck load of people on €98,000 plus expenses, stealing a living,” snapped the Leaving Cert students of 2020, responding to the news, which will probably be dwarfed by whatever cock up comes down the line next week.