Ireland Approach ‘Ah, Sure Fuck It’ Stage Of Pandemic Response


PANICKED international pandemic monitors have discovered that Ireland has reached the ‘ah, sure fuck it’ stage of their pandemic response.

Best exemplified by footage from Berlin D2 premises in Dublin and the decision of the head of Fáilte Ireland to swan off to Italy on holidays, Ireland is now solely relying on an Irish scientific method of lessening Covid-19 spread known as ‘be grand, just use a bit of cop on’.

However, with a rise in cases the cop on settings of Ireland were mistakenly switched to the ‘cop off’ position, which could have disastrous consequences.

“Can you believe them young ones up in Dublin having an alcohol orgy? Riding Covid-19 in the disabled jacks, disgusting stuff” shared one appalled rural woman at a packed 50th birthday celebration in a cramped shed with poor ventilation.

“They say it was one of them ‘Influencers’ fault, she organised the whole thing,” confirmed another man who was influenced to stop social distancing about 6 weeks ago by his own laziness.

The transition out of lockdown into lock-ins have proven disturbingly easy for some of the public, much to the delight of some.

“Oh my God, everybody look! What a disgrace that bar is and the Fáilte guy, it’s scapegoat time,” confirmed Meat factory owners and operators of Direct Provision centres, glad the heat was now off them.

Meanwhile, the Irish public have called for reasonable punishment for the establishment at the centre of the damning drinking video such as having their licence revoked and their eyes pecked out by hungry crows.