Everything You Need To Know About Kamala Harris


JOE BIDEN’S pick to be his Vice President in the event of a November election victory, the 55-year-old American of Jamaican and Indian heritage is the talk of America.

Here’s everything you need to know about United States Senator and former Attorney General of California Kamala Harris:

As a woman and a person of colour, it’s like she’s going out of her way to antagonise America’s racist misogynists. Daughter to high achieving immigrant parents, seriously, she’s just so brazen about it.

Controversially, during her time as California’s Attorney General she declined to prosecute OneWest Bank for over 1,000 home foreclosure violations during the US housing crisis. Trump could look to attack such blithe indifference to banking sector malfeasance, but it would probably require him to fire his Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, who ran OneWest Bank at the time, first.

Harris has already been asked to produce Barack Obama’s birth cert in a bid to prove she’s really an American citizen.

Showed little appetite for regulating and reigning in Silicon Valley which will be of comfort to absolutely no one except Mark Zuckerberg, Tim Cook, Jeff Bezos and Sundar Pichai.

Criticised as a conservative tough-on-crime Attorney General who has received police endorsements throughout her political career, Harris has been labeled by Trump as an ‘Antifa communist mastermind’ hellbent on ‘arming the radical left with vegan-friendly avocado flavoured grenades’.

First name can be purposely mispronounced a multitude of ways by racists looking to partake in a more low-key forms of racism and micro-aggressions.

Will maintain that Biden being 77-years-old is of no concern but she’s thinking the same thing we’re all thinking.

With a personal net worth in the millions, is expected to help Biden bridge the gap between his party and normal everyday Americans.

Harris’ selection as Biden’s VP could cause serious trouble for the televised vice president election debates, as it is against conservative Christian Mike Pence’s religion to be debated into oblivion by a woman.

Has not yet responded to Pence’s query wondering if she has her husband’s written permission to run for VP.

Will be given Irish ancestry whether she likes it or not, and will have a petrol station and roundabout named after her by 2022.

America already thought it made its feelings clear on qualified women with strong track records in public office?

Remains unpopular among the tear-down-society-as-we-know-it-and-behead-billionaires-and-boil-them-in-a-soup wing of the Democrat party.

Is as open as any politician to embarrassing celebrity endorsements and viral videos attempts that make you want the world to swallow you up.