First Mention Of ‘Higher Taxes’ Spotted Out In The Wild


WITH Ireland’s GDP projected to drop by as much as 17% this year, avid austerity watchers spotted the first mention of ‘higher taxes’ out in the wild by the ESRI.

“We’re not nerds, it’s just a hobby like playing chess, cycling or bird watching,” explained Brian Tully, head of Austerity Watchers Ireland.

“Yeah, austerity and higher tax sightings sort of began migrating south of Ireland last year, the country was nearly rid of them, but they’re back like a plague again this year,” he added, staring through a pair of binoculars.

“Look, see,” Tully said now pointing at growing calls for the incoming coalition government to pursue higher taxes and eventually further gut essential services, despite the EU stating austerity is a failed policy and will not be the answer to economic recovery in Ireland or elsewhere.

There are growing fears that the incoming government will hear ‘higher taxes’ and immediately row back on pledges not to increase income tax and pursue stealth taxes instead of standing up to large multinationals.

“Shush, do you hear that?” a now terrified looking Tully said as he cast his gaze across the open fields, now hearing the unmistakable call of ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘we have to pay for this somehow’ and ‘I don’t see why my hard earned taxes should go on billionaire dole heads’.

“Keep close to me, they have us surrounded. Cover your ears if you can, they howl about various stealth taxes that unfairly cripple low and middle income earners. Here, use this for protection,” Tully added throwing us a large binder full of studies and testimony that proves austerity hinders growth and cracking down on fraud and tax evasion by large businesses could be the answer, but it was too late. Tully disappeared beneath a heap of preying vultures as we ran for cover.