Democrats Wholeheartedly Endorse Large Republican Rallies


THE decision to press ahead with an enormous Republican rally in North Carolina in late August has been given the seal of approval by the Democratic party, with presidential hopeful Joe Biden giving it ‘two thumbs up’ while adding that he ‘doesn’t think that it’s going to have as many attendees as Trump thinks, but we’ll see’.

The Republican National Convention – the absolute highlight of the Republican party’s year and vital to the success of Trump’s 2020 campaign – was under doubt amidst ongoing Coronavirus restrictions, with Trump angrily tweeting yesterday that he would move the convention if NC could not guarantee full attendance with no restrictions on crowd sizes, something Biden was quick to RT with his glowing approval.

“The governor of North Carolina is a Democrat, Roy Cooper; Roy, you do a great job, but I think it’s time to let these fine folks have a big ol’ party” said Biden, urging Cooper to ‘not be such a stickler for the rules all the time’.

“There’s gonna be maybe a hundred thousand of these people at this rally and you have to remember: these are the people who have voted Republican in 9 out of the last 10 elections so, y’know, maybe let them see their president if they love him so much. Go to the conference, spend a few days, touch as many surfaces as possible, don’t worry about those silly masks. Have a good time, go home, see their families, breathe as much as they want. Trump is urging you, Roy. And I’m urging you too”.

Republicans from all around the country are being urged by Democrats to attend, and those who cannot get tickets are advised to just hang around outside, high-fiving everyone as they come out.