Aren’t We Great Declaring A Climate Emergency


THE Irish public has been left exchanging admiring glances with one another and remarking “would you stop, never mind how great I am. Sure look at yourself didn’t I see you use one of those paper straws in Supermacs the other day’ in the aftermath of the news Ireland has declared a ‘climate emergency’.

Becoming only the second nation on Earth to do so has many people beaming with pride and taking a moment to let the passing of a Dáil motion which has no effect on actual policy and only passed because there were 10 TDs present at the time to sink in.

“We did it! We saved the earth,” confirmed one joyous Dublin native, basking in the afterglow of praise for inspirational climate activist and teenager Greta Thurnberg, despite the fact he doesn’t even use the recycling bin at home.

“I’m just so proud of us,” said another Irish person, who calls people protesting climate inaction ‘crusties’ and is set to ignore all Green Party candidates on upcoming election ballots.

However, those currently enjoying the positive pronouncement have been advised that if they want to keep the smiles on their faces they should not look up how pathetic the country’s actual climate change policies are and the lack of adherence to emission targets.

“Look, we could be driving coal powered tractors through an oil spill for all I care but just listen to how impressed everyone is with us now, we’re even on the news in America! We’re deadly,” confirmed a solely social media status based climate activist.