In Memoriam: Local Man’s Headphones

IT is with the utmost sadness that we bring you the news that Waterford man Dave Owens has had to say farewell to his beloved set of earphones after four years of loyal service.

Owens made a grief-stricken statement late last night on the bus home, when his trusted pair of white-cabled in-the-ear headphones finally succumbed to old age, halfway through his favourite podcast.

Left earphone-less on public transport, Owens took to social media to lament his great loss, as well as to distract him from the vibrant horrors that await those who travel in the company of others without some sort of personal music system.

“On trains and busses, in bed with YouTube and on holidays with Netflix, on walks and on runs, you were my trusted friend” said Owens, cradling the now-detached thing where the pluggy yoke joins the cabley bit.

“I knew you hadn’t long left when I lost the rubber bud for the left ear, and then the right one followed but you still were more than capable of drowning out whatever shite the person beside me was talking. And now, you’re finally gone. Goodbye my love. You were the best 8.99 I ever spent on impulse at the checkout of a petrol station”.

WWN extends its deepest condolences to everyone involved at this time. Funeral at bin adjoining bus stop shortly.