€450k Inquiry Into Children’s Hospital Overspend Already €2mn Over Budget


THE GOVERNMENT has reluctantly informed the taxpayer that the €450,000 review into the €1.1 billion overspend on the Children’s Hospital, announced only yesterday, is already €2 million over budget.

Visibly grimacing as he relayed the news and shaking his head the Taoiseach, who had to fucking leave Davos for this shit, said “obviously mistakes were made somewhere along the line” and outlined his commitment to find a scapegoat for this all as quickly as he could.

The government has been repeatedly hammered on this issue by opposition parties who maintain that had they been in charge the massive overspend on the hospital ‘would have been €600 million tops’.

“Factors we were not aware of 24 hours ago have made themselves known, and so the inquiry into Children’s Hospital is now €2 million over budget,” the Taoiseach admitted while trying to physically drag Simon Harris into the frame of television cameras so he could share the blame.

“In order to ascertain why the independent inquiry into hospital costs is so over budget hours after we gave it the okay we will hire an independently independent firm to get to the bottom of this,” concluded the Taoiseach with a spokesperson confirming shortly afterwards that the budget for such an inquiry would be in the region of between €100 and €19.76 million.

“At least there were no questions about the 6,000 smear tests women have to repeat because we’re so fucking incompetent,” a relieved spokesperson whispered to himself, unaware the microphone was still on.

UPDATE: the inquiry into the inquiry has been delayed by 3 years.