Fyre Festival Still Not As Bad As Oxegen


VETERANS of the defunct Irish music festival Oxegen have openly laughed at the plight of festival goers featured in Netflix’s new controversial documentary of the Fyre Festival.

The Bahamas located festival is the subject of a documentary that details the fraudulent actions of the luxury festival’s organisers which left ticket holders arriving to a field with a handful of tents having paid thousands of dollars in admission and travel.

“Ha, looks like a walk in the fucking park compared to Oxegen, what are they moaning about,” Netflix documentary watcher and former Oxegen ticket holder Stephen Geraghty scoffed while watching the events of Fyre Festival unfold.

While organisers of both festivals had similar issues in correctly spelling fairly basic words, this is where the similarities end according to 4-time Oxegen veteran Geraghty.

“These Fyre lads wouldn’t have last a second in Oxegen, now that wasn’t a proper shitshow,” Geraghty added before recalling how the Kildare based festival saw bus loads of prisoners from Mountjoy Prison on day release ferried into Oxegen on buses to engage in knife fights with festival goers in queues at burger vans.

The high rate of violence and skullduggery at Oxegen festivals over the years was such that the majority of ticket holders missed their favourite bands due to having to undergo emergency surgery after their eyes gouged out by scumbags.

High levels of scurvy were reported at the Irish festival and medical professionals trace the origins of an incurable strain of gonorrhea to the 2009 addition of Oxegen. An estimated 47 tonnes of urine was unloaded onto the side of tents by hardcore Oxegen ticket holders and several hundred died after getting stuck in mud.

“And don’t get me started on the price of the fucking pints,” Geraghty concluded after a woman in the Fyre documentary appeared on screen talking about how she had lost her life savings.