How To Cope When Someone Else Whistles Right After You Start To Whistle


WHISTLING can be a really fun exercise to do with your mouth when you just want to let go of whatever tune you have in your head, whether it be a silly, nonsensical toot that has no meaning or air to anything recognisable, to the familiar air of whatever ear-worm pop song of the day that’s haunting your consciousness. But what happens when you proudly start your little whistle and someone else just interrupts with their own whistle out of nowhere, stopping you in your tracks? WWN is here to help.

Whistle Louder

Don’t stop, is our advice. You whistled first, so you have prime whistle air time here and no one has the right to just come in like that all willy nilly and steal your thunder. Whatever it is you’re whistling, just up the ante by wetting your lips, breathing in a lot more air, and then just blast that cheeky bastard out of it. You don’t just start whistling when someone else is mid-whistle. Everyone knows this.

Put Your Hand Over Their Stupid Mouth

Are they still whistling even though you’re now out whistling them for interrupting your whistling? This is an attack on your personal freedoms that must be taken care of immediately and without hesitation. While continuing to dominate the whistling decimals, calmly put your hand over their mouth to stop them from forcing breath through the small hole between their’s intruding lips. Perfect.

Smash Their Teeth In With Your Elbow

We didn’t want it to get to this stage. No one did. But they did keep insisting on whistling, even though you have blatantly, and calmly may we add, advised them not to with your soft warm hand over their mouth. They didn’t listen though, did they? No. That’s not your fault either, you started whistling first, so it’s all on them what happens next. Using your bad hand, place the palm flat on the back of their neck, carefully forcing their entire head towards your now incoming elbow from your good hand, aiming the pointy elbow area directly for their upper lip and top incisors, right where all the nerves are, smashing those fuckers in; repeatedly if you have to, until they eventually stop whistling.

NOTE: Whatever you do, make sure to keep whistling until they stop, because if you break whistle at any time during this, rules have it that they can technically sue you for damages or bring you up on GBH charges – always whistle. You’re welcome.