Donnelly Stoned Or Something


FOUNDER of the Social Democrats and Wicklow TD Stephen Donnelly is believed to be high on something after stating today that he is to join Fianna Fail, despite previously saying he would not join any established political party.

This morning Fianna Fail TDs were told of Mr Donnelly’s recruitment at a meeting in Leinster House, where he underwent the parliamentary party’s traditional initiation – successfully calculating the right amount of euros placed in a number of sealed brown envelopes.

“He’s going to fit right in here,” party leader Micheál Martin pointed out, while Donnelly genuflected before a sacred heart picture of Charles Haughey, “the Brits will love the little ginger head on him sure”, he added, confirming the newcomers new responsibility as Brexit spokesman on the party’s front bench.

Admitting to smoking cannabis in the past, supporters speculated that the 41-year-old may be high, and that hopefully he will come down soon and get some sense.

“Ah, he’s whacked out of it or something,” Delgany native David Roche told WWN, “He’s too nice a lad to be getting in with that crowd. I’m sure he’ll wake up in the morning and that will be the end of this silly incident; we’ll just forget it ever happened”.

Following this morning’s announcement, Mr. Donnelly travelled to Drumcondra to meet with elder, Bertie Ahern, where he was officially instated to the Fianna Fail Party in a private “soul extracting ceremony”.