6 Month Waiting List To Apply To ISIS Following Muslim Ban


TERRORIST group ISIS has had to call a temporary halt to their latest recruitment drive after it emerged there is a huge 6 month waiting list for job interviews, following US president Donald Trump’s unveiling of a Muslim ban last week.

“Look, I’m sorry, but we just don’t have the staff to process the overwhelming number of CVs coming in, but give us a few weeks and we’ll have hired a whole new HR department to deal with this shit,” Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, leader of ISIS explained.

“By all means send a CV with a cover letter outlining why you think you’ll be the right fit, but just know you won’t hear back from us for about 6 months at this rate,” al-Baghdadi added.

Business enterprise experts had speculated in recent months that ISIS was a company on the out with little investment and fewer people working in their battlefields in the Middle East than ever before. However, the temporary ban by the US of people from Syria, Yemen, Iraq, Iran, Libya, Somalia and Sudan for at least 120 days has seen ISIS stock sky rocket.

“We’re even thinking of expanding in a big way into new territories, and this wouldn’t have been possible without brother Trump’s help,” continued al-Baghdadi.

ISIS is said to be particularly interested in people born 2001 or later, as their understanding of the US as only an interventionist force which kills civilians alongside extremists in impressive numbers said to be essential for the job.