Supreme Court Rules In Favour Of Oasis In ‘Oasis Vs Blur’ Case

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BREAKING news from the High Court, where just minutes ago that a judgement was made in the long and often drawn out proceedings of ‘Oasis v. Blur’. A court case which began in late 1995 when Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher sought to legally prove Oasis were better than Blur.

A controversial trial, members of the music community were seen in the public gallery throughout, taking a keen interest in proceedings.

Key evidence was paraded in front of a packed court as Gallagher, in his trademark parka coat and awful haircut, delivered a rousing version of Champagne Supernova to stake his claim.

Justice Barry White asked Mr Albarn to enter a song of his choosing into evidence and he delivered a lacklustre version of Parklife, which fell flat without the presence of actor Phil Daniels.

Albarn, speaking out of turn, pointed out that Blur had won the 1995 ‘Brit pop battle’ as their Country House single outsold Oasis single Roll With It by some 58,000 copies as the two bands went head to head.

Jonathan Quigley, a barrister acting on the behalf of Damon Albarn cross examined Gallagher before lunch this morning, asserting “surely Mr. Gallagher, not even you would stand over the cocaine-fuelled pile of shit that is ‘Be Here Now’ “.

It was at this moment Gallagher leapt from the witness stand and attempted to strangle Quigley, before being removed from court.

Oasis’s chief songwriter Noel Gallagher gave evidence via video-link to confirm that ‘Be Here Now’ was in his words ‘utter shite’.

Despite his testimony, fractious proceedings came to a head today as Justice Barry White ruled in favour of the Manchester band. Ignoring impassioned testimony from Blur frontman Damon Albarn.

In his judgement, delivered just moments ago, Justice White stated “in the case of Oasis v Blur, I find in favour of Oasis, citing specifically a swagger, verve and unrepentant Rockstar arseholery which sets the band apart”.

Speaking through his own barrister outside the court, Liam Gallgher confirmed he felt justice had been served.

“My client would like to state on record his satisfaction at today’s judgement and sees it as a vindication for his and his band’s talent and brings to a close a long drawn out legal battle. Liam is delighted that a definitive answer in the Oasis v Blur saga has been reached”.

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