7 Signs Your Dad Won’t Like Your Boyfriend


YOU know the drill. You fall in love with someone and your dad falls into a spiral of deep suspicion and even deeper hate and resentment. WWN has some tell tale signs your dad is about as fond of your boyfriend as Donald Trump is of gay female Mexican Muslims.

1) You’re going out with someone who owns a penis

Your boyfriend has a penis? Bad news for you, this ain’t a good sign at all as far as your dad is concerned. In fact, your dad has probably already picked a spot up the Wicklow mountains to dump his body.

2) His handshake is as limp as a corpse

Sure, your dad tried to break your beau’s fingers by holding them in a vice like hate grip. But that’s no excuse for your boyfriend to lose all feeling in his hand and faint. Your dad doesn’t trust lads who pass out from immense pain.

3) Your boyfriend has ‘one of those faces’

Dad’s nor half wrong in fairness, he does have one of those faces, you know the sort of one that suggests he has a bit of divilment in his eyes, or that he’s clinically brain dead. It’s one of those two looks anyway.

4) Dating is different these days

Gotta give props to your pops, he’s not as stupid as he looks. He’s well aware that the tech savvy young fellas these days are forever putting their mickeys in phones which apart from being a clear indicator your dad won’t like your boyf, it’s also very unhygienic.

5) He’s always thought no one was good enough for you

Everyone and their dog knows this isn’t true, but you indulge the delusion all the same.

6) He didn’t wipe his shoes on the mat

This doesn’t bode well, your dad will correctly observe that your boyfriend is the kind of shitebag that doesn’t appreciate Des Kelly’s signature 100% wool Gloucester Stripe carpet range, so how in God’s name will he appreciate you!

7) Your boyfriend called you ‘babe’ in front of your dad

Scientists have proven that when a father hears their daughter being referred to by a pet name it can release a rush of rage induced endorphins into the body, which is a decisive factor in 94% of father on boyfriend murders. With the other 6% occurring during ‘fun’ family five-a-side football matches.

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