BREAKING: Israel Cuts Off Water Supply To Ireland, Blocks Food Getting Into Country

IN THE wake of Ireland recognising the state of Palestine, the IDF has immediately acted instinctively to carry out war crimes against Ireland, depriving it of its water supply and blockading its borders so no food can get it.

“Just a muscle memory type thing kicking in, sorry” said an Israeli government spokesperson for the Dept of Hey, That’s Antisemitic, “but as we all know cutting off water supply to millions and starving them out is a very normal thing a reasonable nation like Israel does and is in no way a crime so relax and just accept it”.

The Israeli government went on to confirm that Ireland’s entire population is in Hamas, and urged any doctors, nurses, charity workers, teachers and journalists in Ireland to get used to being described as ‘accidental collateral damage’ or ‘terrorists’ in the event of any bombing.

“Recognising the state of Palestine and advocating for peace through a two-state solution is rewarding terrorism, why can’t Ireland be a normal country like the US and give us free bombs as a reward for killing 17,000 children,” reasoned Israel’s Minister of National Security Ben Gvir.

Elsewhere, the Irish coalition government have been told that while they’re feeling brave maybe they could kick the US military out of Shannon next.