Leaked: Barron Trump’s Letter To Santa

IN what is probably his ‘last year for it’, 10 year-old Barron Trump has written his letter to Santa… and a transcript has leaked online.

Although many expected the letter from the son of president-elect Donald Trump to be a word-for-word facsimile of the one Sasha Obama wrote when she was 10, young Barron actually sat down and composed a wholly original missive, which can be read below…

Dear Santa,

How are you? I’m good. Really good. Ask anybody. I’m as good as anyone can be. Just so good.

First of all, I need to inform you of a change in my address. You can deliver everything to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500, USA, I’ll pick everything up there in February, okay?

Now, for what I want… look, I’m doing pretty okay at the minute, but there’s a few things you could maybe get for my Dad?

He needs the materials to build a wall that he kinda promised, but has no way of ever delivering. Concrete, rebar, that kind of thing. Enough to run about 1,000 miles, to about 40ft high or so. If you can send over some elves to help build it, that’s cool too.

I’ve heard my Dad say that he’d also like a waterboard. I’m not sure what it is. Some sort of surfboard thing? Anyways, he’s big into bringing waterboarding back. So throw in one of those.

Could you also fix it for my half-sister Ivanka to not be related to our family anymore? I think Dad would really like that.

Also, kill all Muslims. And a surprise.

Sincerely,

Barron Trump