How About Not Voting For Either Of These Two Crooked Fucks, American Nation Agrees
IN A rare moment of strength and community brought on by an uncertain future and series of damning claims, the American nation collectively agreed today not to vote for either Presidential candidate, a first in the nation’s short but eventful history.
Sick of the lies, hoodwinking, corruption and ongoing sexual allegations tainting both camps, American’s stood up in unison and voiced that they have finally ‘had enough with the bullshit’, and are now seeking alternative candidates to run for the White House.
“Nah, fuck this shit man,” one American citizen told WWN today, who joined thousands as they marched on the nation’s streets, “I’d rather have Kanye West at the helm than these two fuckwits; one is a lying, cheating racist, and the other is, well, a lying cheating racist, who just hides it better”.
Following months of hacked emails and unearthed lies that are too complicated for most to comprehend and too many to list, Hillary Clinton’s unphased campaign machine – funded by the most questionable billionaires in the world – continued to produce a wrath of allegations against her rival, Donald Trump, who seems to be too thick and egocentric to realise the ice queen has already beaten him.
“I hate Trump. I really do, but almost a third of our country is voting for him,” explained another US citizen on the streets, who won’t be voting for either candidate, “Then we have Hillary, a banking cartel funded lunatic, hell bent on war with anyone who steps in her financial backers way. I think we should start again from scratch, and throw these two crooked bastards under a bus”.
Following today’s peaceful yet successful rebellion, the American people advised both candidates to step down immediately and that they’ll ‘take it from here’, this time outlining a series of suitable candidates, including some of the best minds and negotiators in the country, whose main aim will be to help the people, and not their own financial agendas.
UPDATE: Reports of pigs flying over the skies of Washington DC this morning. Fighter jets engaged, killing all the airborne swine, and 457 civilians, mostly African Americans. More as we get it.