Michael D. Higgins Captured By Person Playing Pokémon GO


THE search is on for Irish president Michael D. Higgins, who is believed to have been captured by somebody in Phoenix Park while playing the new augmented-reality phone game Pokemon GO.

The incredibly popular new app allows players to “look” for Pokemon in the real world, and has been downloaded millions of times since its launch earlier this week.

It is believed that an over-eager player parked close to Áras an Uachtaráin may have mistaken a passing President Higgins for one of the game’s scruffy little monster characters, before launching a Pokéball at him and sucking him into the game.

The hunt is now on to find President Higgins before he is forced to go one-on-one with a Charizard, which Pokémon experts claim he has “no chance” of winning.

“It’ll be a case of ‘Higgins used poetry… It’s not very effective'” said one 47-year-old man who is way too old to be playing Pokémon.

“So you’d best find out who has him, and quick. Best case scenario would be if he didn’t battle, and was just left to evolve into  Higginstwo, but I’m not sure I’d want something like that presiding over the whole country”.

Luckily for President Higgins, the Pokémon GO app has been crashing since launch, meaning the chances of anyone actually being able to battle against him are non-existent at this point.