Trump Slashes Sunbeds, Hairspray From Struggling Campaign Budget


WITH holes starting to appear in his presidential campaign budget, Republican hopeful Donald Trump has been forced to cut down on the amount of cash he spends on maintaining his sun-kissed skin and his incredibly interesting hairstyle.

Despite initially claiming that he was going to fund his entire campaign himself, billionaire Trump has recently appealed for public donations to help make his ‘Make America Great Again’ campaign great again.

Realising from an early point just what exactly it takes to win the support of delegates, Trump vowed to “spend whatever it takes to get elected”, although this claim may be about to cost the outspoken businessman more than he bargained for.

“We’ve had to remove sunbeds and hairspray, okay, they’re gone, okay?” said a noticeably paler Trump, who hasn’t removed his “Make America Great Again” hat in days.

“So, okay, they’re gone. But that’s okay, we’re taking the $2 million a day I was spending on keeping my hair right where I want it, and we’re pumping that straight into the campaign trail. Because that’s how you win votes, okay? You tackle it like any business; you advertise, you get your propaganda out there. All that costs money, lot’s of money. But you get results. In a year’s time when I’m president, I’ll have all the hairspray I want. For now, not so much”.