We Had A Go At Firing An AR15 & Now It’s All We Want To Do

THERE has been heavy criticism of America’s gun laws in the wake of yet another mass shooting, particularly in regards to the ownership of assault rifles such as the AR15, used in the Orlando massacre which saw 49 people lose their lives.

We at WWN were vocal about the need to limit access to weapons such as the AR15, and in the interest of seeing the weapon itself in action, we went on a field trip to a shooting range in New York to try one out for ourselves and boy, did we change our tune! These things are amazing! You have to try one! Here’s why:

It’s just like a gun from a movie

Have you ever watched a really cool action movie where it’s like, one guy against a load of robbers or terrorists in a building, and he has to save the day by killing everyone? The AR15 makes you feel just like that awesome guy! In reality, you could never battle against a horde of terrorists, but when you hold an AR15 in your hand, you feel like you could really stand a chance!

It’s so easy to use

Years and years of movies, TV shows and video games really come into play when you hold an AR15 for the first time; you just know exactly how to load it, aim it and shoot it. Exactly as you’ve seen people do it on telly, you can do it in real life. It even makes the CHICK-CHICK sound when you pull back on the charging handle to load it. The first time you do it, you just get a shudder of excitement, you’re like ‘OMG I can’t wait to shoot something!’

Nobody will fuck with you

A gun makes you more of a man. This is a fact. Take two people; one has a gun. The other doesn’t. Who do you think is going to have to put up with bullshit from people? Mr. Gunless, that’s who. Now if both of those people have guns, but one has an AR15, then who gets fucked with? Not the guy with his sweet AR15, that’s for sure. Unless there’s some people who have an even bigger gun. Hmm… that could be a problem. Are there any bigger guns? Should we get one of those?

You can buy as many as you want

OK, we sorted out that whole “bigger gun” problem. We just bought loads of AR15s, and a shitload of ammo. Kitted the whole family out. We’re ready to protect ourselves if anyone tries to mess with us. Anyone. Anyone at all. Listen, can someone come mess with us please? We’ve got all these guns and nothing to shoot at. To be honest, we’ll take any excuse at this stage.

You can take our AR15, if you think you’re able

Oh, what’s that? You want our gun back? Well, we don’t know about that. What do you want it for? Do you want it, or do you just not want us to have it? We see what you’re doing here. You want us to have no guns, and then what? You come for us? Fuck no. Our guns are staying right here, ya commie bastards.

This post has been sponsored by the kind and generous people at the NRA.