Tablet Head Syndrome, And Why Parents Should Be Worried

WHEN Irish couple James and Triona Hayes bought their daughter Samantha an Apple iPad in 2013, they were unaware of the world’s fastest growing epidemic which would later disfigure her forever.

“We believed we were doing her a favour. The guy in the store said it had tonnes of education apps and features,” father James recalled. “All her friends had one, and she loved Hobby Kids TV and was constantly badgering us for our phones, so we decided to take the plunge”.

Speaking at their Cork home, the Hayes family seemed like loving, responsible parents that put one thing before everything else; their only daughter Sam.

“Yeah, we let her watch it too much, but what parent doesn’t these days, especially when you’re busy,” wife Triona began. “After we bought the iPad, she never once complained of being bored. We could leave her at home on her own for the whole night while we went out with friends, and come back home at 5am and she’d be still there, happy as Larry”.

However, it wasn’t until last year when Samantha’s grandmother, Helen, noticed something was up with her granddaughter’s bone structure.

“I was hugging her and felt her jaw sticking into my rib” she explained. “On closer inspection, I found it was actually protruding at a ninety degree angle, on both sides”.

Following a series of medical examinations, 7-year-old Samantha became the first known Irish child to be diagnosed with Tablet Head Syndrome (TFS), a bone contorting disease that rectangulates the facial features.

Not a lot is known about this new and rather scary disease, only that it is directly linked to spending too much time on tablet devices, with some evolutionists theorising that it is down to simple genetics.

“It has long been known that humans are influenced by their physical surroundings, and that their immediate environment can influence their appearance to such an extent, that it actually shapes them,” Professor Hans Rykard, an evolution specialist told WWN. “The majority of children diagnosed with Tablet Face Syndrome spent between 5-15 hours a day looking at the device, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it, because, let’s face it, what parent would let their child sit in front of a screen for that length of time?”

So far, 34,879 children have been diagnosed with TFS across the world, with another 3mn expected by 2019. For more information on the disease, please download this informative iPad AppHERE.