Leprechaun Hat-Beard Declared Funniest Thing Of All Time

IF you’re hoping to be regarded as a total legend this St. Patrick’s day, then you better get yourself to the nearest Irish gift shop as quick as you can, as a recent survey has found that the classic Leprechaun hat/ginger beard thing is the funniest thing of all time, and everyone who wears one is just a wonderful person.

Sales of the novelty headgear have soared following the announcement, with people who were already full-time mad bastards stocking up just to be sure nobody is under any doubt as to how gas they actually are.

“I’m just over in Ireland for St. Patrick’s Day, and I’ve been looking for a way to show the Irish people that I really love their culture,” said one tourist, probably from Wisconsin or somewhere like that.

“I was going to go for a “Kiss me I’m Irish” T-shirt, but then I read online about how the leprechaun hat thing was the best way to show people that I’m ‘up for the craic’, so I went out and bought one. It’s great there’s no moustache on the beard, so it doesn’t interfere with my drinking”.

Experts are predicting that all leprechaun hat combo’s sold before St. Patrick’s Day will still be in mint condition on the 18th March, and should be stored carefully as they can become precious family heirlooms in years to come.