Worst Part Of A Fry Declared Good For You
NEWS that a component of a typical greasy breakfast had been declared a “superfood” packed with health benefits was greeted with joy by members of the fry-loving community, until it was revealed that the food in question was in fact the black pudding.
People’s hopes that perhaps sausages would be declared “the next kale” or hash browns would be as good for you as a flu jab were dashed when it was announced that black pudding was on a list of 16 must-eat Superfoods for 2016, a list that included equally enticing foods such as seaweed, avocado oil, and whatever Kohlrabi is.
Universally considered as the worst part of any fry-up, be it an English, Irish or Ulster fry, the black pudding is seemingly loaded with protein, potassium, calcium and magnesium, as well as being practically carb free.
Although this news seemingly makes the fried breakfast somewhat healthier overall, in actual fact the nutritional properties of a fry remain unchanged as nobody ever eats the black pudding anyways.
“It couldn’t even be the white pudding, could it,” moaned Brian Cassin, pushing the black pudding to the side of his plate as usual.
“They got our hopes up that starting your day with a full Irish would be as good for you as a bowl of Special K, then just rubbed our faces in it. I wouldn’t care if black pudding cured malaria, it’s gross and I ain’t eating it”.
There have been reports of people attempting to eat black pudding by smushing it up and mixing it with their beans, with others burying it into the middle of a sandwich and just telling themselves it’s not there.