North Korean H-Bomb Test Revealed To Be Kim Jong Un Falling Out Of Bed
AN alleged hydrogen bomb test carried out by North Korea has been dispelled by experts following careful analysis.
Despite being reported on reliable State operated news channels in North Korea, it appears the 5.1 Richter scale fallout from the apparent bomb is too weak for such a weapon.
“Word from inside North Korea is that Kim Jong Un has very vivid dreams and can be a bit of a rough sleeper, so conventional wisdom suggests that given he’s so fat it was likely he just fell out of bed and the propaganda machine is working overtime to cover their leader’s blushes,” shared North Korean expert Winston Kingston.
Kingston’s assertions were backed up by recent footage of Kim Jong Un’s palace in which workers were seen repairing large holes either side of the leader’s bed, which is located on the 14th floor.
The reinforced steel flooring has proven inadequate, if the falling out of bed accusations are true and doctored footage of Kim Jong Un’s head attached to the body of Holywood actor Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson has not helped his case.
“Registering only a 5.1 on the Richter scale would suggest something with slightly less force would have caused such reverberations,” weapons expert George B. Gallows shared with WWN, “if say Kim Jong Un fell through all of those 14 floors it would have most definitely caused a seismic event”.
North Korea has thus far ruled out launching their rotund leader from a cannon in an attempt to protect themselves from the West.