HSE Patients Who Started Queuing In January 2015 Finally Seen To

THE Government has been celebrating yet another victory in its battle against the critics after confirming to the media that patients who started queuing in A&E departments as of January 2015 have finally been seen too.

The 371 day wait is now over for many patients and helps to rubbish claims made by country’s nurses that A&E departments are simply unsafe for patients, and that they have next to no faith in management delivering on any promises.

“There’s no spin here, the patients came in of a January and were seen to, treated and left of a January, this is a great result,” Minister for Health Leo Varadkar explained, hoping the public had yet to get used to the fact that it was 2016, and not in fact 2015.

Among those queuing since January 2015 included a man with a severe paper cut, and another patient who had a minor complaint of several heart attacks.

“Things are improving,” explained Varadkar, “and to see this, you only have to make sure you don’t read any newspapers or talk to any patients or staff”.

The Government’s pre-election pledge to stop making promises about fixing the HSE because it’s never going to happen has been met with mixed reaction by the voting public.