Obama’s New Gun Laws To Limit Gun Owners To One Murder Per Year


REPRESENTATIVES of America’s right wing Republican movement have reacted angrily to the news emanating from the White House after gun carrying citizens will be limited to just one unlawful murder per year.

The news comes as president Barack Obama used executives powers to tighten up background checks as well as several changes to gun laws in an effort to reduce the number of gun deaths across the United States.

While many Republicans and members of the vastly influential NRA in America have asserted their right to carry arms, Obama is set to limit the murder count angering many.

“Seriously, just one? Across 365 days… what our people going to shoot at for the rest of the year?” executive vice president of the NRA, Wayne LaPierre, told the media in response to the news, while simultaneously firing his gun in the air.

“Just last month an innocent gun was shot by another gun, damaging it beyond repair. I’ve not heard one mention of that gun by the president, but sure, a few hundred people die and he won’t shut up about it,” LaPierre added, bringing himself to tears recalling a Smith & Wesson 41 no longer with us.

Some individuals are even threatening use of lethal force to insure their second amendment rights are secured and the news of a limit in the number of murders they can carry out could be the final straw.

“Too many know the tragedy of losing a loved one to gun violence and so I must reduce the number of murders each gun owner can carry out to just one each per year,” president Obama said in his address before the American people.

Obama then paused a moment before squeezing one of his testicles as hard as he could in an effort to bring forth some tears, which are so valued by the public and media alike.

Currently there are next to no limitations to the number people gun owners can kill per year, and this sort of nanny state move by the White House may further heighten tensions with those who plan on shooting someone.