Canal Divers Lowering The Tone Of Derelict Area


A GROUP of young people who are spending the hot summer days leaping into the canals and waterways around Dublin have come under fire from online commentators, who claim they are “lowering the tone” of some of Dublin’s poorest and more derelict areas.

The youths, ranging in ages from 0-8, have been filmed flinging themselves into the Royal Canal and the Liffey, usually wearing wetsuits and swimwear from the middle aisle in Lidl.

A recent video posted online shows a team of daredevils leaping over 50 feet from the back of Bolands Mills, which has fallen into ruin over decades of inactivity.

The area, where the underprivileged and crime-ridden neighbourhood of Sheriff Street meets the “derelict-but-in-a-cool-way” area known as Silicon Docks, which also houses the offices of multinational corporations such as Facebook and Google.

Many claim that this area was just the right level of hip and cool, until it suffers its yearly invasion of kids with absolutely nothing else in life looking for a way to harmlessly pass the time on swelteringly hot days.

“This area is so rustic and run down it’s absolutely gorgeous; so it’s a shame you’ve all these scobe kids making it look bad,” said Siobhra Ní Maoileagh, who works in Google and sometimes eats her lunch by the river.

“I have to look at all these Antos and Decos, running and laughing and swimming and having fun, while I’m trying to have my cous-cous salad and properly compose a photo of the light hitting the broken windows of Boland’s Mill so that I can post it on Instagram later on. It’s just a disgrace”.

The canal-diving kids are to be moved along by Gardaí later today, where they will do something more constructive with their time, such as underage drinking or falling into a life of crime.