“Banking Inquiry Really Eating Into My Golfing Time”, Says Cowen

FORMER Taoiseach Brian Cowen has expressed his disgust and annoyance at the amount of time he has been kept off the golf course due to the ongoing inquiry into the collapse of Ireland’s banking system during the economic crisis.

Cowen, currently undergoing questioning at the inquiry in regards to his role in the downfall of the economy during his term as Minister for Finance as well as the night when the fateful bank guarantee was introduced, expressed his sorrow at missing out time on the links during “the best weather we’ve had all year”.

It is believed the former Fianna Fáil leader had intended to spend the summer working on his handicap, as part of plans drawn up before he retired on a pension worth €80,000 per year.

Instead, he has been forced to spend endless days facing a grilling from a board of inquiry into his role in the catastrophic collapse of the Irish economy, which has resulted in years of austerity for the Irish people.

“I’d love to be on the back nine right now,” mused Cowan, during a break in questioning earlier today.

“Just get out on the fairway, ding a few balls onto the green. Instead, I’m stuck in here answering the same questions over and over again. Look, the country’s in a jocker at the minute. Shit happens. Keeping me off the golf course isn’t going to change a damn thing about that”.

The inquiry is expected to last at least until the good weather is over, which Mr. Cowen has described as “typical”.