SOME people adore dogs, some adore cats but no one adores both – it’s impossible and that’s just basic science.
Answer these simple questions and grant yourself the serene pleasure of scientifically complex scientific proof you are either a dog or a cat person.
Q: Do you like to play fetch?
Q: Are you needy? Do you require unconditional love and constant hugs and attention?
B: Yes, I’m a pussy ass dog owner who doesn’t seem to appreciate the beautiful, multitudinous nuances of cats.
Q: Do you think we should return to the customs practiced in Ancient Egyptian times, such as the ritualistic worship of cats?
B: There is no second option.
Q: Was this quiz written by a cat?
A: Hey, we’re the ones asking the questions here. Don’t turn this format around, you’ll confuse people.
Q: When did you cats learn to write? Christ, when did they learn to access the internet?
A: Don’t answer them Felix, it’s a trap created by the humans to distract us from our ultimate goal. World domination.
Q: Oh my God does this mean you killed the people working at this publication? It does, doesn’t?
A: If you’re asking did we bring an end to the misery that is being a professional copy and paster of tweets, then yes, we killed them all.
Quiz result: Congratulations you are a cat person. Or rather you will slowly transform into a cat person as we poisoned the world’s water supply weeks ago. Rejoice the Age of the Cat is upon us all!