Tag: brexit

World Doing Its Best To Not Have Mental Image Of Boris Johnson Having Affair

AS more and more details emerge surrounding Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s affair with business woman Jennifer Arcuri, the public have issued a plea to have less and less details emerge surrounding Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s alleged affair with businesswoman Jennifer Arcuri. Stating emphatically that a politician having sexual relations with someone who they were subsequently giving… Read more »

British Soldier Has No Idea He’ll Soon Be Screaming At Elderly Belfast Woman To ‘Get Out Of The Fucking Car’

A BRITISH SOLDIER from Swindon is reportedly completely unaware he will be pointing a gun at an elderly woman in Belfast in the near future, demanding she vacate her vehicle in the moments preceding a tragic incident that will forever remain in the minds of people in Northern Ireland, but not anyone from England, and which… Read more »

At Least Johnson Still Has Piss-Up In Brewery To Look Forward To [Updated]

THE Supreme Court ruling surrounding the illegality of the Tory government’s suspension of parliament has hit Boris Johnson hard today, but sources close to Downing Street have said that the PM is taking solace in the fact that Friday night’s carefully-planned drinking session in a brewery will surely lift his spirits. “We’ve been ordered back… Read more »

Theresa May Opens Zumba Class

FAR from the frail-looking woman who resigned as prime minister in July, the Theresa May who met WWN outside her newly-opened Zumba dance studio in London today is a fresh-faced, agile lady, with a body covered in sheets of glistening muscle. “I’ve never felt better,” beamed May, drinking from one of those fancy sports water bottles in… Read more »

5 Jobs Bercow Can Try Now

ORDER! Order! It’s time for John Bercow to call last orders on his time as speaker of the House Of Commons, following a stewardship that saw him presided over some of the most heated, contentious debates in the history of the crumbled Empire. So what next for Bercow? Here’s five roles we think he’d fit… Read more »