Tag: brexit

The Queen Growing Out Her Cocaine Nail

SETTING ASIDE a lifetime of trying to preserve Britain’s air of dignity, Queen Elizabeth II is finally dropping the repressed facade of impartial poise, grace and restraint in favour of growing out her coke nail. “The Union is disintegrating. C’mon, the fucking PM thinks he’s the King and can force through a no-deal Brexit even… Read more »

Johnson Announces £2.1bn Irish Reunification Funding

CASUALLY referred to by his government as a ‘£2.1 billion No Deal and hard border funding package’, the measures contained in Boris Johnson’s plans for Irish Reunification have been met with universal praise by those who advocate for a United Ireland. While the British media was busy confirming that communist Taoiseach Leo Varadkar was in… Read more »

Johnson Booed By Inebriated Scottish Junkies Munching On Deep Fried Mars Bars

FRESH from being embarrassed by protesters as he met with Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon in Scotland, British PM Boris Johnson corrected the official record of events to better reflect the true nature of the encounter. “To the untrained ear, these rabid, vowel-stretching Scottish neanderthals sounded at first like they were voicing their disapproval for… Read more »