Lady Of The Black Rod Resumes Day Job With Dyno-Rod


SARAH Clarke, also known as Lady Usher Of The Black Rod, the ceremonial face of British parliament and a key player in yesterday’s re-opening of the House Of Lords, is back to her day job rodding drains with the ever-busy drain-rodding company Dyno-Rod.

Trading her black-and-white ceremonial garb for an orange high-vis jumpsuit, Lady Clarke opened up to WWN about the pomp and ceremony surrounding the Queen’s speech to parliament yesterday, all while breaking up a big dump that was clogging a sewer in a housing estate in Ipswich.

“I spent fifteen years in rodding school, and it has really set me up for a career in rods of all sorts; from the Black rod, to these yard-long screw-tops that we use for stopping toilets backing up” said Clarke, knee-deep in sewerage.

“Yesterday was nice, I got to go into the House Of Lords and dress up and do the whole knock-three-times shite… meet the Queen, be part of the whole ceremony. It’s well paid, but in honesty it’s a bit ridiculous. Here we are, weeks from Brexit, negotiations going down to the wire, and we’re all playing dress-up for half the day. That’s what I like about Dyno-Rod; there’s none of that fucking around. You see a massive poo and a load of nappies blocking a sewer, and you mush all that up and drag it out. Job done. No messing”.

Clarke has another appointment in Westminster this evening, although this one is a Dyno-Rod call-out to see if they can do anything about the overwhelming bullshit that has clogged them up for over three years.