Dwindling Late Late Show Figures Actually Just Viewers Dying Of Old Age

RTÉ has confirmed that the so-called dwindling rating figures the newspapers are so obsessed about are actually down to aging viewers dying off and not anything to do with the new format, presenter, cuts to the chat show’s budget or fallout from scandals, WWN has learned.

“This is the longest running chat show on the planet and viewers tend to have an average lifespan, so I guess this is just a consequence of that,” RTÉ stated, “one-minute ye want a premium chat show, and the next ye’re online moaning that we didn’t buy Patrick’s suits from Michael Guineys – we give up”.

Despite overall figures so far being better than the previous seasons, tabloids have constantly compared figures to Kielty’s first debut show, sparking dozens of poorly written newspaper articles on how the show’s ratings are depleting week-by-week.

“If we’re honest we’re dying for this to fail,” said online newspaper editor for Carrick-On-Suir Live, Damo Farrel, “I didn’t spend 5 weeks on a journalism course to write positive news stories that don’t get engagement online, it’s best give what Irish people want; a nice place to be openly begrudging in our comment sections”.

Get all WWN updates on our new WhatsApp channel HERE