Irish Media Ordered To Take Down Three Ring Circus Erected Outside Murder Trial


DESPITE the hours of work and significant expense involved in its construction, the Irish media has been ordered to disassemble the three-ring circus it has erected outside the Central Criminal Court.

“No media outlet was successful in planning applications for sensationalised headlines geared towards making the biggest spectacle possible out of the murder of an innocent person,” confirmed a clerk at the courts.

“This 40-part true crime podcast and documentary planned to go out once a verdict is delivered will all have to come down, take the whole circus down. Hey, you, pretending to juggle respect for the victim’s family with plying your audience with every lurid detail, I see you,” added the clerk, as another clown performed back flips trying to defend a live minute-by-minute blog housed on a news site monitoring every day of the trial.

The frenetic glee with which some outlets are greeting the trial, seeking to instantaneously update the public as to every lurid detail will now have to be done without the presence of the media circus tent.

“And if any of you so much as think about employing a ‘psychic’ to ‘reveal’ things or jeopardise this trial in any way, you’ll be hearing from me,” added a frustrated clerk, aimed as much as at the media as local Facebook and WhatsApp groups across the country.

However, suggestions that the trial be allowed to occur and the full facts of the case to be known once a verdict has been reached has been dismissed by the large true crime loving section of the population.

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