NostraSeamus: Meet The Irishman Predicting The Future

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A 94-YEAR-OLD Waterford man known as NostraSeamus is coming to the world’s attention once more after making a series of spine-chilling predictions over the years which many believe accurately described major historical events before they occurred.

Seamus Donnelan, of Waterford City, is getting a long overdue reappraisal as many scholars believe his predictions have borne fruit.

Similar to Nostradamus’s most famous work ‘Les Prophéties’, Seamus’ book entitled ‘Me Guesses’ contained teasing lines of poetry which are now seen as prophecies of the future.

Check out some of Seamus’ most famous predictions:

“Some cunts are in for a rude awakening”

– Celtic Tiger crash, as predicted in ‘Me Guesses’ published 1961.

“The hoop on yer one”

– Predicting the current popularity of Brazilian butt lifts.

“Not this prick”

– Pat Kenny becoming the host of The Late Late in 1999.

“As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike”

– Heralding the rise of Eamon Ryan to leader of the Green Party.

“A great schism will see the world fractured in two, forever circling the same argument without end”

– Roy Keane’s World Cup exit.

“He’s better off shot of her”

– Predicting Brian O’Driscoll’s break up with Glenda Gilson.

“Like the multiplication tables with chronic diarrhea”

– Spiraling cost of the Children’s Hospital, HSE, Housing Crisis, Metrolink, any large scale endeavour ever undertaken by the Irish State.

“Repeating like a spicy curry”

– Correctly foreseeing Irish people’s inability to move on from a collective humour forged and set in stone by Father Ted jokes.

“He’s some fucking eejit”

– Unclear but could have been warning about any moderately famous Irish person.

“We could do with a sup of rain”

– Predicting this summer’s and every subsequent year’s fatal heatwave in Europe as climate change chokes humanity out of existence.

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