Secondary School To Change Books This Year In Case Parents Try To Buy Second Hand Ones


IN A bid to keep the economy of the Irish educational system fruitful, schools have informed parents to not even think of buying second-hand books from last year’s class as they will be changing them again this year.

“There’s an ebb and flow we need to maintain with schoolbook publishers and if we just keep using the same books then someone’s profit margins will be down,” one source explained the reasoning, “of course we could scrap physical books altogether in favour of hosting them on smart devices and save the children years of untold damage from carrying extremely heavy bags to school everyday, but we’ve a draconian system here to adhere to and money to suck out of struggling parents”.

With anxiety enduring back-to-school adverts already plaguing both parents and children during what is meant to be holiday time, schools have warned they will have no problem openly embarrassing your precious little school goer if they don’t have the right books from day one.

“You better have all those brand new overly priced books covered in brown paper too or all your little shits will get a note home,” one local school principle promised, “and by the way, where’s your ‘voluntary contribution’ charge? You’re the only family in the entire school who hasn’t voluntarily handed over 100 euros?”

It is estimated that Ireland’s free education system is to cost €1,838 per secondary school child, but don’t worry, the government is kindly giving a Back To School Clothing and Footwear Allowance of €385 for parents earning less than a combined €642 per week whereby the vast majority of parents earning over minimum wage can get fucked.