Emergency Services Dumbfounded As Smoke Found Again Without Fire


“IT JUST keeps happening over and over again and we’ve no idea where the smoke is emanating from,” a statement from the latest response unit called to tackle yet another apparent blaze in Conor McGregor’s life.

Despite being the fifth, maybe sixth time emergency services were called to the McGregor scene that we know about, lawyers have insisted no such fire exists stating the smoke currently bellowing from the former MMA World Champion was probably nothing to worry about and should peter off soon with some help.

“Usually cold hard cash disperses these plumes of smoke so we just have to wait to see how much we need to extinguish it,” explained one of McGregor’s many lawyers on retainer, “once the smoke has stopped then it’s up to Conor’s PR team to transform any remaining smoke into a nice air freshening vapour in the form of media fluff pieces about his family life and donations to charity – we urge everyone to just ignore the pillar of smoke currently engulfing our client”.

Meanwhile, firefighters who attended several of the 911 calls said it was very unusual to attend one smoke incident without finding any fire, but multiple instances of the strange phenomenon are extremely rare, before speculating that it may be the 34-year-old’s pants that could be burning.