Dad’s Luggage Just Big Ball Of Cables


AIRPORT security officials have announced that baggage checks before flights are taking longer than expected these days thanks to men like Ian Malone who pack every electrical cable known to man into their carry-on luggage case.

“They said remove all iPads, computers, they didn’t say anything about the nine different charging cords or the 25m cable reel I brought with me,” grumbled Malone, miffed that he had to spill out his carefully packed backpack to show that he wasn’t smuggling on some sort of wire-based incendiary device.

“They even made me take out my crowning glory – my 8-gang tower with USB ports connected to a single European converter. Charge every phone or tablet or Nintendo Switch while plugging in your own hairdryer and hair straighteners without buying a second adaptor – I love this thing more than my own kids”.

Malone is just one of thousands of men who are put ‘in charge of cables’ when going on holiday, leaving their partners to pack other non-essential things like clothes, passports, boarding passes, books, cosmetics and ‘good tea bags’.

“Shireen, the missus, she handles things like that, while I take things like Kindles, CPAP machines and the dongle of the dodgy box which has never worked on a hotel TV, but I’m sure there’s a first time for everything,” Malone stated, now looking forward to a week of connecting things to Wi-Fi and figuring out why the kid’s Bluetooth headphones aren’t pairing.