BREAKING: Kid In 3rd Class Is Double Jointed
BREAKING news coming in has revealed Martin Drea from class 3B in Scoil Na Muire national school in Waterford is double-jointed in one arm and able to make a really cool locking in and out motion when he puts his hand on the desk, making his elbow do a deadly clicking noise like it’s broke or some shit, WWN has learned.
News travelled fast around 3rd class as pupils from class A and C assembled in Mr Regan’s classroom, who was out today because he rang in sick after a meeting in a local bar last night went on longer than anticipated.
Martin Drea, (9), wowed spectators as he proudly performed his double-jointed routine that he normally kept for such occasions, sparking a series of other party pieces from his peers.
“Yeah, but can you do this,” Terry Phelan chimed in, pulling out his old parting his fingers on both hands card, receiving scoffs from fellow classmates now successfully challenging the 10-year-old, who was kept back last year because he was ‘too young’, but really because he’s ‘a bit slow’.
Competing for the limelight, Jason Tobin rolled his tongue to everyone’s amazement before then flattening it and making it do waves like some kind of circus freak destined for certain stardom.
Once again taking things to an all new low, attention-whore Mark Dwyer halted all proceedings after finding a beetle under his desk before daring himself to ‘bite its head off’ to much fanfare from his intrigued audience, however, his moment was ruined by substitute teacher Ms. Cummins entering the classroom and telling everyone to ‘get back to their fucking seats’.
More on this story as we get it.