Zuckerberg Rips Off Prosthetic Elon Musk Mask In Elaborate Twitter Sabotage
SHOCKED Twitter staff and journalists where left speechless last night after it was revealed Mark Zuckerberg had been pretending to be a South African billionaire and recently installed Twitter owner named Elon Musk all this time, confirming the persona had been a concocted character created in an elaborate sabotage of the rival platform.
Ripping off the prosthetic mask to gasps and jeers from the crowd of employees, Zuckerberg laughed manically upon his revelation, with some people even fainting from the shock of it all.
“This took over a decade to plan but I’ve finally did it; I’ve singlehandedly destroyed Twitter for good and fooled you all, mwahaha” the now evil sounding Meta founder mocked the astounded conference hall, packed with whatever remaining Twitter staff was left.
Admitting to spending billions on planning his cunning hoax, Zuckerberg went on to say there never was an Elon Musk, stating the name of his character was actually an anagram of his favourite Southeast Asian fizzy drink, Sku Lemon™.
“The Tesla cars and SpaceX rockets were all a cover to mask my real goal; to create an unhinged billionaire entrepreneur capable of one day convincing the world and investors that buying Twitter would save it and free speech,” Zuckerberg continued, many people now crying and booing the mad man, “now I’m going to crush this platform and everyone in it and soon the entire world will be mine mwahahaha,” he laughed, his pupils now like shiny black saucers from the adrenaline and new sense of power.
Throwing the rubber Elon Musk mask into the crowd, the 38-year-old told staff they were all fired before taking out his phone and apparently deleting the Twitter app with one foul swipe.
“It’s done… it’s over – Twitter has now been deleted forever,” Zuckerberg wailed as security tackled him to the ground and restrained him, using cable ties to tie his hands behind his back, “it’s too late hahaha… it’s too late you morons I’ve done it… I fucked it… I fucked you… I fucked everyone mwahahaha”.
Following its deletion, tens of millions of people worldwide reported feeling quite good this morning with the overall wellbeing of the planet apparently upgraded as a result.