Been While Since Man Watched Young Guns

KENNETH Pellan has totted up in his head how long it’s been since he watched the 1988 Brat Pack western Young Guns after noticing it while scrolling through Netflix and holy Christ, it’s been at least 30 years.

“Fuck, I’m old,” sighed 45-year old Pellan before stating that he must watch the movie, once considered his favourite, as soon as possible.

Plans to sit down and watch the 103min action flick were immediately scuppered as Pellan ‘has a work thing this Friday’ which will involve enough pints to incapacitate him for several days and although the Emilio Estevez-led western seems like easy watching for a hangover, it’s more likely that he’ll just lie on the sofa scrolling through horrible news on Twitter instead.

A mid-week watch is out of the question as after work, cooking the dinner, doing homework with the kids and getting ready for the next day usually tires Mr. Pellan and his wife out to the point where neither of them have the energy for a full movie, opting instead to dutifully watch whatever new thing is streaming so that they don’t feel left out of the conversation at work, while also answering emails and arguing about the household finances.

Mentally calculating when might be the next time he has two hours to himself with nothing to do and no mental load to prevent him from enjoying a rewatch of the tales of Billy The Kid, Pellan surmises that it might be next year at the earliest when you take weekend sports activities with his children, a co-worker’s wedding and a search for a tradesman to change the wood flooring upstairs.

Furthermore, any attempts to coerce his teenage son to ‘sit down and watch a movie with the old man’ have been met with derision, as Pellan’s son has emphatically stated that he has no interest in watching ‘ancient films with no special effects’.

Faced with such insurmountable obstacles, it seems that the Waterford native has accepted that he may never again have the time to sit down, put his feet up and just watch an old movie for the hell of it, except maybe at Christmas, if he remembers and if his wife’s dose family don’t come over like they usually do.

“Fuck, I’m really old,” Pellan concluded again.