‘Peel Here’ Sign On Packet Of Ham Just A Blatant Fucking Lie

SLICED HAM manufacturers have been put on final notice for their packaging claims with a failure to address concerns seeing them facing a violent uprising the likes of which has never been seen in the history of humanity, WWN has learned.

“I’m not saying the person who came up with the phrases ‘peel here’, ‘easy peel and reseal’ labels are evil but if you told me they were the bastard child of Myra Hindley and Ted Bundy I’d 100% believe you,” shared one frustrated peeler of ham packaging.

Others have speculated on the sick and twisted nature of sliced ham package designers suggesting they get off on labelling corners ‘peel here’ on packaging despite the fact it would be easier to break into Fort Knox.

“I swear, I was once trying to open a bastarding ham packet in the kitchen and I saw a figure out in the garden, I can’t prove it but it was definitely one of the sickos who designed this abomination, having a dirty auld tug,” shared another customer driven to the point of insanity.

However, it’s not all mild inconvenience as the tragic case of 33-year-old Tony O’Laughlin clearly proves.

O’Laughlin, a divil for a ham sambo had been in the process of making lunch one day when he became locked in an unforgiving struggle with a packet of Dennys. Hours of agonising grappling with the packaging ensued before O’Laughlin sadly passed away from starvation, unable to form a functioning sandwich without the ham.

“My beautiful Tony was brought up to respect authority and when a packet ham says, ‘peel here’, he listened, he wasn’t going to open it with a knife like some brute who cared not for the ongoing freshness of his ham. We’ve not had so much as an apology from the designers,” shared O’Laughlin’s distraught mother.