The Irish Politician’s Guide To Cheap Point Scoring Over Ukraine

WHILE many Irish people have been watching on in horror at the unfolding invasion of Ukraine, elsewhere Irish politicians have been busy using the situation to score incredibly cheap points against political rivals.

If you’re not a politician then this guide isn’t for you because you have not been cursed with an addiction to whataboutery and have no desire to take a sledgehammer to the notions of decency.

However, for politicians across the political spectrum, there’s plenty of undignified and stomach turning point-scoring to be done by everyone:

Are you a left wing politician who instead of condemning Russia’s actions want to sling mud at those in government? “What about Shannon airport?” is your only man.

If that doesn’t work invoke the name of any other conflict since the dawn of time as long as it keeps you from denouncing Putin. And don’t forget to add that Nato, which didn’t invade anyone, is to blame for all of this.

Are you a fringe right wing politician? You’re spoilt for choice, you can choose from any of the following options:

a) Interesting to see Irish people caring more about Ukrainians than our homeless.

b) Ireland should no longer be neutral – weak pathetic government – time to get nuclear weapons. Putin needs to know we mean business. Every person under 53 should be conscripted into army, sadly at 54 I would be unable to serve alongside you all.

c) I blame the transgender community for all of this.

d) Laugh at and deride anyone who mentions the words ‘diplomacy’ and ‘peace’.

Are you a nationalist? Why not make Putin’s xenophobic hatred of Ukrainians all about the six counties. Now that’s leadership.

Are you a nationalist AND in government? Time to scoff at Sinn Féin for condemning government for expelling Russian diplomat in the wake of Salisbury poisonings. We stand corrected, THIS is leadership and should win back young voters everywhere.

Are you Fine Gael? Just hire a PR company to do your strategic messaging for you.

Are you a political ‘wildcard’ aka an independent TD?

If you’re a business owning TD choose the ‘as long as they work for slave wages they’re welcome’.

If you’re a non-business owning TD just ignore the whole thing and bring up a constituent’s post arriving a day late.

And in both cases you can say something about wishing you were a Ukrainian mother and child because then at least ‘them up in Dublin’ would pay attention to you.