Nightmare For Donegal Families After Mika Appears In Their Homes

FAMILIES in Donegal have expressed anger at the lack of support they’ve received from the government following the sudden appearance of mid-2000s popstar Mika in their homes, causing mental distress and anguish.

“You try getting to sleep at night with ‘Grace Kelly’ ringing out from downstairs at 2 in the morning” exclaimed one exhausted Letterkenny woman we spoke to, who first noticed Mika in her home 3 years ago.

“At first you thought oh, okay, it’s a little craic in the house. But after a while it gets to be a source of constant stress. And we’re told there’s nothing the government can do about it; if we want to get rid of him, we have to pay for it ourselves. How is that fair?”.

Although little is known about why the once-popular Lebanese-British singer suddenly appeared in hundreds of Donegal homes, many believe that sub-standard building practices have lead to the troubling phenomenon.

“I worked my whole life to own this home, and because some builder cut corners and left the house as an acoustically perfect setting for jaunty pop songs, I may have to move” fumed one man we spoke to, who may have to demolish his house and rebuild with next to no help thanks to a dysfunctional and unworkable compensation scheme.

“And the government’s response? They sent us foam earplugs, so that the noise isn’t so bad. Foam earplugs! That’s not going to be much good against Mika. Especially seeing as he only has the one fucking song”.

The scandal calls to mind a similar building regulations breach in the mid-2000s, where families were forced to walk the plank out of their houses after the foundations were found to be riddled with pirates.