THE launch of the HSE’s Covid-19 Contact Tracing App was met with a chorus of ‘no fucking way’ from people adamant they will only permit sharing their personal data through the use of apps belonging to five, maybe six massive multi-national corporations and tech firms at best.
The tracker, which uses geographical location data to determine if users have been in contact with someone who tests positive for the Coronavirus, has raised concerns about what the government may do with the data it harvests from the app, with many fearing the privacy of their Just Eat orders and TikTok dances may be in jeopardy.
“The T&Cs on this thing are 9 pages long; what am I supposed to do, read them all or just blindly click ‘agree’?” asked one app-denier, despite having clicked ‘agree’ on that Face-Changing app that had instructions in Russian and required camera and microphone access as well as a fingerprint scan and mother’s maiden name all to allow him to see how he looks as a girl for a laugh.
“As far as I’m concerned, I’ve a Covid app already; it’s called WhatsApp – gives me all the up-to-date information about the virus I need from Damo and the lads,” he added.
Despite concerns from people who share their shirt size and what they had for breakfast with Facebook, Twitter, Google, and whoever makes TikTok, the government has urged the nation to download the contract tracing tool and are considering a new ad campaign to help win the public over.
“We’re using basically the same technology as Tinder, so maybe a Covid-19 message along the lines of ‘Find hot people in your area’?” said Minister For Health Stephen Donnelly, fighting back the urge to tell people to cop themselves on.